Dining Table Photography

Improving your photography on the dining table.

What? Did you think I meant taking photos of your dining table? Well, I suppose that’s as valid a subject as any for photography, but what I’m actually sharing with you this week is something a bit different. A photographer, Brian Worley, posted this tutorial titled Creating and learning on the dining table back in March of last year. It’s an exploration of still-life photography, done on a tabletop, as a way of working on photography skills. It especially focuses on small flash skills, which I definitely need to work on regardless of how many of Syl Arena’s classes I’ve taken. He emphasizes a pretty tight setup, which should work for people in almost any living situation.
Before I read this, I did my own set up last year for this sort of thing. I’ve gotten two bases with two sides each; one black and one white, with a matte and shiny side each. I also got two miniature v-flats to control light better, which Mr. Worley does with simple poster board. Mine have black on one side and one panel each of white and silver, again to give me a little more flexibility with light and reflection. I did some experimenting with still life myself, both last year and earlier. You can see my brief experiments with my new-ish set up, as well as the older experiments, at my Still Life Flickr photo album.
It’s a great way to experiment with your camera and lighting in a small, contained space. And, for however long this pandemic lasts, it’s something we can do indoors, away from big crowds, while staying safe, to keep our photography skills sharp.

And, I have to admit, I got some more props around Christmas time for more still life work. I haven’t gotten around to it yet, but my intention is to add to that photo album and work on some fantasy book covers. Fantasy in the sense that the theme is swords and sorcery, but also fantasy in that these are books that haven’t been written.
We’ll see how it goes.

 

AI Poetry

posted in: Fun, On Creativity, The Tools | 0

No, not poetry written FOR artificial intelligence.

Rather, poetry written BY artificial intelligence. Or at least extrapolated by artificial intelligence. The idea is simple enough; you choose three poets from the suggested list and feed the engine a first line, then, verse by verse, suggestions are made. You can change the shape of the poem, to some degree, and, of course, you can choose the next line which is all, as far as I can tell, culled from the poems of your selected inspirational writers. It’s an interesting experiment and, I have to admit, it makes poetry no worse than poetry I’d write myself without help. See for yourself. Here’s a sample of one I “wrote” with the help of the AI

Dream Sailor

I sail upon the wine-dark sea,
Set me on its golden sand;
Make me a race, and I shall be
The man for which I hold the hand.

Inspired by James Weldon Johnson, Robert Frost, and Edgar Allan Poe
COMPOSED IN VERSE BY VERSE

So, yeah, there you go. Click that link and try it for yourself! It’s free and may inspire you to do more.

Bardcore

posted in: Art, Fun, music | 2

Modern music with a Medieval twist!

As a guy who aspires to write, among other things, fantasy fiction of the pseudo-Medieval or “swords and sorcery” style, I’m always paying attention to things I think will hook people. Music is, of course, something that most of us have some kind of interest in and I’ve always been a fan of musical mash-ups. So, naturally, when I stumbled across something called “bardcore”, I was intrigued, to say the least. In essence, these are relatively modern songs done in a Medieval style, to varying degrees, and can be quite fun. I’m not ashamed to say that I find them mostly fun, and, if I wrote with music in the background, I’d absolutely find them inspiring. Maybe you will, too. One of my favorite blogs, BoingBoing, has a short article about it and a link to one of the better performers. Strictly instrumental, but quite lovely.
I’ve got a couple of saved Bardcore lists on Spotify, too. One called simply
Bardcore and another called Bardcore/Tavernwave and a third called < a href=”https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5bSyIBVoTa9gwiOqvvJFWD”>Medieval Style/Bardcore. All fun, in my opinion, and quite likely to lead to daydreams of a past that never was.

Either way, it seems like a nice, light way to start the new year.
No idea what else I may share this year, or how often I’ll post, but at least you’ve got this.

Avoiding A Fight

To be clear, I haven’t been in a fight since high school.

And, I haven’t even been close, really, since college.
That being said, I have been threatened more than once in the past thirty years since leaving the safe, quiet suburbs of Chicago.  Though, that has happened with increasingly less frequency, thankfully.  You see, I think of myself as a peaceful person, in spite of once threatening to stick a fork in someone’s eye.  Hey, he started the threatening and posturing!  I just turned out to be better at it than he was.  And, the fork never left my side of the table.  The believable threat was enough to stop him.
The thing is, when adults fight, I can tell you from unfortunate experience, everyone involved gets hurt.  Yes, even the “winner” of that physical confrontation ends up hurting.  Trust me.  Knuckles in the teeth hurt the knuckles as much as the teeth.  So, I go a long way to avoid getting into that sort of conflict.  I apologize when it’s not strictly necessary.  I stay away from bars, just on general principle.  These days, I’m a pretty soft-looking middle-aged guy that probably reminds most people of their uncle who gets quietly drunk and weepy on Thanksgiving or Christmas.  (I’m not, by the way.  I don’t really drink anymore and rarely get weepy.)  So, I never seem a threat.  Not at all the sort that people seek out to start trouble with at all.  And, that’s just the way I like it.  Trust me, no one wants to hang out with the guy willing to literally stick a fork in someone to prove a point.  Not even the guy with the fork.

I bring all this up because, well, we’ve been away from regular human contact for a bit and while we were, I feel like tempers have gotten shorter.  I know mine did for awhile this past year.  And, too, our world has gotten scarier and more uncertain thanks to a pandemic and politicians that leave much to be desired.  I’m not even thrilled with the people I voted for, much less the ones I didn’t.  I imagine that others feel the same way.  All that lack of practice on our social skills and the heightened tension may make for some challenging times ahead as we get used to being with people again.  I hope we won’t need this, but why not start your year off on the right foot and look at Lifehacker’s suggestions for how to talk your way out of a bar fight.  Trust me on this one, fellahs.  The pretty girls would rather go home with the guy who avoids the trouble than the guy who starts OR ends it.  Just ask my wife!

Upgraded Resolutions!

posted in: Art, Fun, Fun and Games | 0

Updated random resolutions!

I haven’t made formal New Year’s Resolutions in a long, long time because, honestly, if I’m relying on making myself a promise on a certain day to follow through, it’s not likely to actually happen. At least I know that I’m alone, which is why gyms and churches are both bursting at the seams in January but thin out by April. Still, it’s traditional, so I’ll share, my own little solution to the New Year’s Resolution “problem”, which has been freshly updated.
Back in the day, when I still had delusions that I could make myself into a decent programmer, I whipped up a New Year’s Resolution Generator. At the time, I was studying Perl, which is what I wrote it in then. This year, though, I updated that sad, old Perl CGI program to the much more modern PHP. So, now, instead of getting an error message, you actually get the fun toy.
I based it, in part, on some ideas from the Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays, but I have to admit, I threw in some of my own warped sense of humor. And, I weighted things a little more toward heavier drinking and looser morals because I figured those were the resolutions that would be easier to keep and I figured they’d be funnier.

In any case, it was apparently funny enough that Comedy Central Insider linked it in their blog back when I first released it all the way back in 2006. Which is pretty cool, no matter how long ago that was and how many technologies and upgrades have come and gone. Besides, can completely random “advice” from a website really be any worse than the suggestions you got from family over the holidays? In today’s world of chaos and unreality, it honestly doesn’t seem as bad an idea as it used to! So, why not give it a shot yourself? You don’t even have to share about it publicly. No one will know but us!

And try to have a good year, no matter what happens. Make time to love your loved ones, do good work, and add something positive to the world. Or one of the random resolutions. Whichever seems likelier to produce good results.

Christmas Day 2020

Normally, I’d share a silly link, but not today.

Today, it’s Christmas. The day that Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, also known as Yeshua ben Yeshua, Lamb of God, and Light of the World. We live in strange times, filled with consumerism and fear of the future. Locked in our homes because of a global pandemic, we haven’t been able to celebrate this season the way we might like. Family has been distant for most of us, one way or another, and our usual gatherings, either at religious services or for holiday meals, have been severely curtailed.
My wife and I often celebrate the season quietly anyway, so it hasn’t been as big a burden on us, really. For that, I am thankful. But, this year, more than ever, I think we all need to consider what people from time immemorial have celebrated at this time of year. The actual birth of Jesus most likely happened in the Spring, closer to when we celebrate Easter. But, the early church leaders were very clever and some of the best marketers that history has ever known. They chose to connect the birth of Christ with the far older and more pagan festival connected with the Winter Solstice. That day, which was actually Monday, December 21st this year, is the longest night, and shortest day, of the year. But, it marked the day that a little more light was about to be let into the world, because, the next day was a little longer and each day after that is a little longer too, until the Summer Solstice when the cycle repeats. What’s important though, I think, is that we all are celebrating that this holiday commemorates the continual rebirth of light, joy, and possibilities into the world.
That hope is something that I think we can all use more of this year. So, go, enjoy your families, and spread that hope and light as far as you can carry it in the coming year. It may not be easy, but I think the results will be worth it!

Santa’s Flight Plan

I’m just not smart enough to calculate Santa’s trajectory.

Seriously, I love science, but I’m just not good enough at math to keep track of Santa Claus on his flight plan around the world on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, I don’t have to figure it out because the US Government will do it for you, so, as I have done more than once in the past at this time of year, I’m sharing some good, clean fun for the whole family, brought to you by your hard-earned tax dollars.
During the Cold War, NORAD stood between us and what we were sure was complete destruction at the hands of the Soviets. What with the recent tensions vis-a-vis Russia and China and North Korea, NORAD may find itself busier than ever in the coming year, but, until then, thankfully, they can fall back on my favorite tradition; tracking Santa. It started with a wrong number and an accidental connection, but a gentle soul in a high-pressure job spread a little Christmas cheer once a long, long time ago. The story got around and before you can say “Who’s violating my air space?”, everyone was misappropriating government resources to make kids happy. Before long, it was fully sanctioned and, if I say so myself, an entirely proper use of my tax dollars. In any case, now, whether you’re young or old, or whether you have children or not, you can have fun tracking Santa with the Official NORAD Santa Tracker!

I Just Keep Getting Older

posted in: About The Author | 1

Which is better than the alternative!

Considering that I wasn’t entirely sure I’d live past forty, it’s a pleasant surprise to find that I’ve survived to fifty-two. It’s been a hell of a year. The whole world has suffered from a plague this year, but I’ve had my own troubles beyond that. I lost my father in July, just a week after his 91st birthday. Then, three months later, to add a bit of insult to injury, I passed a 7mm kidney stone. Nineteen years ago, I passed a 9mm stone, so I suppose I should be grateful that this one was smaller, but it did hurt quite a bit more passing than I remember the first one hurting. At least, it was a distraction from missing Dad. I still go to call him sometimes, only to suddenly remember that he won’t be there to pick up the phone. So, instead, more often than not, I talk to Mom, who is still here.
Oddly enough, we’ve fared pretty well during the pandemic, at least financially. Not going out to spend money on movies and food and gas made a surprising improvement to our bottom line this year. Though, I have to admit that we took on a little bit more debt to get the twenty-six-year-old furnace and blower replaced. Not only had it gotten dangerous, but that blower runs the air conditioning as well, so replacing it should help our overall power bill.
Of course, being married to Sharon does make my time here easier and a lot more pleasant. That sounds a little tepid and middle-aged, but, honestly, I think we’re both pretty happy about having this quiet, pleasant life together. We’ve both had more than our share of adventure and chaos to think we’re missing out on much at this point. In fact, if anything, all that craziness in our past makes the quiet in our future all the more appealing. Sharon’s business, The Organizing Decorator, is poised to do quite a bit better this coming year, and I’m incredibly proud of her and her work. I’ve known people who constantly complain about never having been given a chance, but Sharon not only took advantage of the quiet year to study up on her industry and better business practices, but she even managed to find a good-sized project to end this year with and that will possibly bring her more work in the coming year. She’s a miracle and I’m truly blessed to be married to her.
It is a bit strange to find myself being so fiscally responsible these days. Again, I suppose age and commitment have their unexpected upsides. I want to make sure that she’s taken care of, at least, even if we don’t expect to leave much after we’re gone.
Otherwise, I wish I’d spent less time complaining this year and more time working for change in all aspects of my life. I still have dreams of writing more and taking more photographs. I’m sure if I really am committed to that this year, I’ll find a way to make the time. Maybe that’s one secret of making it to middle age; I don’t buy as many excuses, not even my own. So, watch this space! Hold me to account, dear readers, if anyone out there is still reading this blog.
I do still harbor dreams of publishing fiction. In fact, I’ve been writing daily since May, outside of the brief gap while I was in Chicago, burying Dad and helping Mom get some of the most pressing things taken care of before heading back down to my regular habitat. I’m still a long way from being published, but there are actually a lot of great authors who didn’t publish until they were over fifty, including Raymond Chandler, Frank McCourt, Bram Stoker, Richard Adams, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and fantasy author Dave Duncan. So, there’s still hope, if I get to work this year!

In the past, I’ve listed the same group of celebrities who share my birthday. But, this year, I’ll only mention three, because they’re the only ones I currently care about. I’m shocked to realize that I’m a mere two years older than Jennifer Connelly, who was born on this day. She’s lovely and I’d watch her read the phone book. The other celebrity who shares my birthday is Frank “Chairman of the Board” Sinatra. And, just like me, he did it his way.
It’s the birthday of the jack-of-all-trades whom Samuel Taylor Coleridge called “the first literary character of Europe, and the most original-minded Man.” That’s the physician, inventor, poet, philosopher, and scientist Erasmus Darwin, (books by this author) born in Elston, England (1731).

His famous grandson, Charles Darwin, wrote about his grandfather: “As a physician, he was eminent in the noble art of alleviating human suffering. He was in advance of his time in urging sanitary arrangements and in inculcating temperance. He was opposed to any restraint of the insane, excepting as far as was absolutely necessary. …With his prophetic spirit, he anticipated many new and now admitted scientific truths, as well as some mechanical inventions. […] He strongly insisted on humanity to the lower animals. He earnestly admired philanthropy and abhorred slavery. But he was unorthodox; and as soon as the grave closed over him he was grossly and often calumniated.”

Darwin was such a fine physician that he was invited to be the personal physician to King George III (an offer he refused), although he treated the poor for free; he wrote the best-seller Zoonomia, or, The Laws of Organic Life (1794–1796), which contained some early speculation about evolution; he discovered that sugar and starches are byproducts of what he called “plant digestion”; he designed a steam-powered car, a horizontal windmill, and a copy machine; and he wrote poems.

Also, I think it’s interesting to note that on this day in 1896 Marconi first demoed radio and, again on this day, in 1901 made his first Trans-Atlantic transmission. (Though, of course, all right-thinking people know that Tesla was really responsible for those first advances in radio.) And, today is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, celebrating her divine inspiration which led to the building of the Basilica of St. Mary in Mexico City.

So, that’s the state of me, as it were, this year. Some things I’m happier about than others, but, all in all, it’s been a pretty good year. I’ve just about given up trying to figure out what the coming year will bring, though I do try to make plans about being more creative and productive, as I do every year. In the end, though, what I choose to do or not do doesn’t matter, so long as Sharon and I do it together. I’m happy that she’s really become the only thing that matters in my life. God knows, I could have worse

All in all, life is going along okay and I’m sure it’ll be a good coming year.

New Age Nonsense

Not that ALL new age thinking is goopy nonsense.

I’ve read a LOT of new age philosophy and pseudo-religious texts in my endless search for deeper meaning in life. I’ve read everything from the Kybalion to The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment and just about everything in between. A lot of the so-called new age movement is well-intentioned, but a lot of it is also fairly devoid of any real meaning. Enlightenment or epiphany or whatever you want to label spiritual experiences are generally something that, I think, need to be experienced and can’t really be taught. That doesn’t stop an endless array of self-styled gurus from trying to sell us some sure-fire program that will elevate our thinking to a new level of existence though. So, when I came across the New Age Bullshit Generator, you can imagine how amused I was! The thing is though, the new age bullshit it generates isn’t half bad. The author/programmer, Seb Pearce, suggests that you could use the output of his generator to gin up the next bestseller on the Self-Help shelf, but I think I might have to do too much of the legwork to fill in enough for a full book to make it really profitable. Either way, I hope you’ll find the New Age Bullshit Generator as much fun as I did.
Besides, what else are you going to do on this Friday in the middle of December?

40 Push-Up Plan

I need to get back into some kind of better shape.

I mean, I’m always in some kind of shape, but I really need to get into better shape than I’ve been. I’m weeks away from turning fifty-two and my cholesterol is up a bit, but my weight is coming down. Both, I think, due to the keto diet. I stopped rowing a couple of months ago because of my kidney stone and I need to get that started up again. But, I really need to work on my push-ups. Apparently, a recent study cited in Men’s Health, indicates that being able to do 40 push-ups reduces possible heart disease by 96%. Now, that seems pretty amazing to me, but considering that I used to do multiple sets of push-ups totally more than that on a regular basis, it seemed worth looking into. The details are, basically, that the relative health level required to do forty push-ups in a row without stopping has a 96 percent lower risk of heart disease than those who struggle to do fewer than 10. The study was done by Harvard medical researchers and was a bit surprising. But, it’s also kind of inspirational to me. Forty push-ups are definitely doable. Yes, it would take some time for me to get back to that on a daily basis, but it can be done.
In fact, the graphic below shows a roughly month-long plan that can, in theory, get me to forty push-ups in one set.

 

As I crest the legendary hill of middle age, I’m pretty committed to improving my health. My father was ninety-one when he passed. My one great-grandfather was ninety-nine. My family has a pretty good genetic likelihood of living to be quite rather old indeed and I’d like to enjoy that long life with the fewest health problems possible. That means eating better, which my wife and I are already doing, and more exercise on a more regular basis. (And, yes, there’s also the implication that I should get smarter about money, too, so we can afford to live that long!)
This is one step toward that and I’m sharing it with you, dear readers, to encourage you to consider your own health, in all areas, and work to improve it!

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